University Bits Cite

Can you keep a secret?

My friends don’t trust me.

  Maybe I’m just being pessimistic because flunking two exams yesterday had messed me up. But I’m telling you. My friends don’t trust me. I can’t tell you how much I’ve mourn for this in high-school. A good way to think about it would be blaming me to be too oblivious, but truth is- if my friends don’t tell me, how am I supposed to know?

  I talk a lot so that’s probably why. I’m very very outgoing once you know me. Probably why people don’t tell me things. It’s understandable. It just hurts to think they assume I’m going to go around and talk about things they told me. I really don’t care too much about their private life, because if they feel like they want to keep it to themselves, it’s their right. But, when it comes to me being the only person in the group that wasn’t told or even people outside of our circle knows it before me, I think they’ve gone too far. How am I supposed to trust them?

  I’m sure they don’t read this blog, ( and at this point, probably no one does) so I’m going to say it: I never, ever tell people my secrets or secrets I know. It wouldn’t be a secret if I tell others. Plus, none of them trust me enough to tell me theirs, why would I bother sharing mine? To be honest, I can talk nonstop about nonsense, why would I need to be talking about secrets?

  What angers me the most is, secrets are always shared with certain people we all know can’t keep a secret. It’s like they tell their secrets so that it can be spread around. Maybe they want to spread it around? I don’t know what they are thinking at all. In the end, I just stop wondering. It hurts me too much. Before, I just stop asking about things, recently, I would ask them if they want to tell me, if they choose not to, then I’d just shrug and walk away. Relationship are based on trust. If you can’t trust a girl who’s been your friend since grade 8, you are just messed up. This goes to all my high-school best friends. I hope hurting me this way is making them happy.

  Why bother asking me who my best friend is? I have none. Never did, probably never will. Friendship is not like what they’ve shown on TV. It’s weak and insecure. Anyone can become friends with me within minutes, but none of them would bother to keep it going. There is no requirement of commitment when it comes to friendship. When I was little, I valued friendship above everything. How dumb! None of them talk to me now and probably only a few still remember me. Sacrificing for friendship often result in heartache.

  If you don’t trust me, don’t pretend like you want to be my best friend. Not going to work.